As Seasons Go By
by Crina
Summary: Blaise, Pansy and the four seasons. Response to Seasons Challenge by Megsy42.
1. May 1998

**As Seasons Go By**

A Pansy/Blaise Story

_Spring 1998_

May 15th

A fortnight.

Fourteen quiet days and fourteen sleepless nights.

A fortnight since Vincent Crabbe has died.

She remembers his funeral vividly, the silence and pale faces and all those flowers, pretty and red like blood and life, orange and yellow like the fire that killed him. She remembers that Draco cried without trying to hide it – that Daphne's lipstick was almost purple (and not very becoming) – that Gregory was so lost it hurt to look at him. And she remembers how Mrs Crabbe sat alone in the corner – she had been always so large and loud woman, but now her face was grey and she looked so small and fragile.

After the funeral she came with Blaise and stayed in his apartment. She didn't ask a permission, he didn't give one – no words were needed, because alone was something neither of them wanted to be. Maybe she can leave, when the spring is over. If she wants to and he wants her to. Right now she can't, because staying is the best alternative she (_they_) have.

They sit together on his green sofa (green as Avada Kedavra, she repeats in her mind over and over again, green as Avada Kedavra and green as death), he reads the day's newspaper and she is right there beside him, hugging herself with her head on his shoulder. When the scary night comes, they sleep together in Blaise's enormous bed, curled up together between the light blue sheets, listening to the sounds of night.

Days have gone by slowly, wounds have started to heal carefully, the sun shines every day and apologizes for everything they and the rest of the world have gone through. Neither of them has yet really noticed the bloom of spring, but someday they will, hope has not died completely yet (green is not only a colour of death, it's the colour of the grass under her bare feet and the leaves that rustle against windows – she has grown to love that voice during these days and nights).

She stays, because she wants to and he wants her to, and when the nightmares return once more, they are happy to be together.


	2. August 1998

**As Seasons Go By**

A Pansy/Blaise Story

_Summer 1998_

August

Summer is easier than spring was.

They don't sit anymore inside the house, clinging for warmness and intimacy of the other one (or any human being, for that matter). Now they spend their free time – she has lots of it, Blaise decided to continue his studies and is little busier – outdoors, enjoying the heat and letting the bright, friendly sun kiss their skins. Pansy has already burned herself far too many times, but she just laughs and adds some thick, yellow balm all over her body when she comes in. The balm smells horrible, but it takes only five minutes when the red skin has already healed completely and Blaise's sensitive nose has got used to that smell.

They are (_almost_) as happy and carefree as they were few years ago, during those spring days they spent in the grounds of Hogwarts, waiting for their holidays and watching the glimmering lake, talking and dreaming and being young. Only differences are that now they are older – eighteen is not that terribly old, but they think it is – and this is not Hogwarts, and never will be, either.

Sometimes they talk about Hogwarts and the Battle and their friends (neither of them mentions Vincent Crabbe – they both would _want_ to, but when they try to say something, they just can't – not yet). It doesn't hurt anymore so much, not like it hurt just some months ago.

Pansy lies on the grass and is absorbed in her newest novel – its covers are shockingly pink and Pansy giggles while reading it, so Blaise supposes that it's something he would not like to read. He himself tries to concentrate on his studies, but the wonders of summer are much more interesting than the Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration and its five exceptions.

Pansy pauses reading and glances at Blaise, noticing his lack of concentration. The boy is staring at the sky with that odd expression on his face she still can't understand. Then he sighs, looks at Pansy, smiles and starts to underline the most important parts in his book.

She almost says something, but shuts her mouth and continues reading. The novel is exciting (which one will Crescentia choose – Ariston or Llyr? For Crescentia's sake Pansy hopes she'll choose Valentino) and the time is not quite right yet.


	3. November 1998

**As Seasons Go By**

A Pansy/Blaise Story

_Autumn 1998_

November

Of all the seasons, autumn is the one he loves and she hates the most.

There are dead leaves everywhere, in the trees and covering the no longer green grass. Now, when the summer has said its goodbyes, Pansy doesn't walk anymore outside with bare feet, laughing or sometimes even humming some old song. Instead, she sits inside and tries to read or cook or _anything_, but can't concentrate.

Blaise, in the other hand, lingers outside for hours, doing absolutely nothing and enjoying it. When he comes in again, he has that abstracted smile on his face and his dark brown eyes are so gentle that the great Harry Potter would not believe his own prejudiced eyes.

Sometimes Pansy almost feels like Blaise is betraying her, when he enjoys so much of this season of dying.

It has always been this way, ever since they were at school – when lovely August turned into cold September, and it was time to come back to school, Pansy teased, insulted and tormented almost everyone, including Blaise, who tried his best to make her understand the good things autumn brought with it. That, naturally, made Pansy even more irritated, and caused few very intense (and entertaining) fights, which Pansy always ended up winning somehow.

(Pansy smiles to her memories fondly and is glad she can finally think of Hogwarts without any regrets.)

It's one rainy day when Pansy is in her nastiest mood, and for the first time ever Blaise hopes she wouldn't be there. He almost tells her to pack her things, leave, maybe go to Draco's and try to become a part of his life again instead of ruining Blaise's.

But he doesn't say it, just swallows the mean words, because after November Pansy always settles down.

Pansy lights up immediately, she saw the look on Blaise's face and remembered at once that she doesn't want to go away, not to Draco's, not to Daphne's, not home. _This_ is her home now.

Blaise firmly takes Pansy's hand and leads her out. They stand there, under the gray sky, getting wet and breathing the brisk autumn air, and while Pansy still absolutely _detests_ autumn, she has to admit that it has its own charm.


	4. February 1999

**A/N:** Here's the last chapter! I want to thank every reader and reviewer and Megsy42, who came up with this amazing challenge. I hope you all have enjoyed this as much as I have.

* * *

**As Seasons Go By**

A Pansy/Blaise Story

_Winter 1999_

February

Blaise remembers one day, with funny jolt in his stomach, that in the end of February Pansy has stayed with him ten whole months. It seems such a great period – ten months is almost a year. And one year means the Battle's first anniversary.

How much they have really achieved during these last nine months and few days they have lived together?

They don't have nightmares so often anymore (at least Blaise himself doesn't – but it's so hard to tell about Pansy sometimes). They can now discuss about Hogwarts and their fellow Slytherins, even Vincent Crabbe. They have learned everything about each others, both the bad and the good things.

They have grown and changed a lot during these months. Near Christmas usually so reserved Pansy ran out with Blaise when he noticed it was finally snowing. They laughed and romped and Pansy even risked her new, perfectly white and very expensive coat and jumped in the puddles with him.

When they finally found their way back home, Pansy lingered a little while in the doorway, watching the view with crinkled brow.

"It's easier outside of Hogwarts, have you noticed?" she asked absently when Blaise came from the kitchen, two mugs full of hot cocoa in his hands (while Pansy likes tea, he hates it with a burning passion and would rather do almost anything else than drink that poison).

"Not so much pressure", Blaise nodded. He would have wanted to add "or prejudices", but that would have been a lie – there were too many bitter Gryffindors (and Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws) to ignore.

"What a pretty view", Pansy remarked, took another mug and closed the door. "Makes me want to stay here forever."

She walked slowly away, taking sips from her mug and disappeared to the living room. Blaise looked after her and wondered whether she would really want to stay forever.

Neither of them had returned to that topic again, and now, when freezing cold January had turned into a little milder February, Blaise thinks he maybe should bring it up again.

He tries to, never succeeding, and thinks Pansy knows what he is trying to ask. (And doesn't help him at all – how Pansy-like.)

When he has tried to ask that one little question for over a week (February is approaching its end and the ten months anniversary is coming closer every second he wastes), he realises that he doesn't have to say anything at all. The realisation hits him when they are sitting together on his green sofa, just like they did over nine months ago when they were scattered and confused and scared.

She _will_ stay here with him, because she wants to and he wants her to.


End file.
